Moths

12/17/2022

Moth imagery has been a recurring theme throughout my life in the recent years. Every time something big happens, I imagine myself as a moth shedding its old cocoon and turning into something bright and beautiful, splendid and ephemeral in the light. Fleeting, but still there. And when I shed that old skin, I am something bright again.

2022 has been quite a year. I don't think I'm shedding it, but I do feel strange at the end of every year. I sit and wonder why I didn't do more, or if there even was more I could do, or wondering if I missed out on opportunities and if I'm going to change at all in the next coming year. It's a strange feeling, but I'm sure it's not foreign to other people. After all, we all change. It's part of life.

Last night I sat in bed drawing a luna moth, cutting it out, and sticking it on my wall. I'm fairly proud of it, actually. I also made a monarch butterfly, fitting considering a character I designed recently is a monarch butterfly fairy. I'm happy with how her design came together, and how much I'm building for this storyline that she will feature in. I like working on characters with unique designs, it pushes me out of my comfort zone and forces me to be more proactive in building cohesive color palettes, design quirks, and communicating characters personalities more clearly through the work I do. I've always struggled with making good, cohesive designs, and I want to improve. I need to get better at it if I ever plan to do anything with these concepts and ideas.

Speaking of sitting in bed, guess who may have caught RSV? I still wear a mask and limit my time in public places, but a relative of mine does not, and considering I live with them, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I've caught covid twice from them, but now I'm fairly certain I have RSV (or the flu) and am feeling, frankly, like shit. But I still have an intense urge to create things, so I guess not even this can stop me.

In other news, I've completely screwed up my sleep schedule, so I've been staying up far too late and waking up way too late in the day. It's become a bit of a problem, but considering I have nothing else to do and nowhere I'm going daily, I suppose that it isn't too bad. I hope it doesn't get to be an even worse issue.

Thank you for reading my rambling, I hope everyone is staying comfortable and healthy.